Updated on March 21, 2018
Part III: How to Embrace the Chaos of a Large family as an Introvert!
If you’re just joining us in our series on Introverted parenting in large families, Welcome! You can catch up with the first two Parts in this series at Part I and Part II. Today we are going to talk about how to not only survive but thrive in that chaotic environment.
First off, rules and consistency help. All children need a framework from which to venture forth and explore the world around them. They need consistent, patient parenting so they know what to expect. You need it too! Try to keep a relative schedule particularly in terms of bedtimes. Giving yourself some alone time after bed is much easier when they go to bed on time and the most consistent way to do that is to have a good bedtime routine. That’s a difficult thing in our house due to my variable schedule and my husband the night owl. However, we see a real difference in both the kids and our behaviors when we manage to be more consistent. This is important in day to day rules as well. You and your husband need to agree on what the rules should be for your children and then consistently enforce them as repeating yourself over and over again like a broken record can really drag you down.
Treasure the individual quiet times you get with your children. The more often you can get them the better. Sometimes they happen one on one and sometimes they sneak in amongst the many distractions. As I write this my two and three year old sons are curled up next to me as my oldest son and daughter play the Lego Movie video game. My three year old turns around and says quiet simply “I love you Mommy! You’re the best Mommy ever!” The two year old just snuggles in closer and falls asleep. These are the simple moments you live for as parent, particularly when you’re an introvert. Remember them on the days you feel like you could pull your own hair out and are striving to maintain both your patience and composure as they all do their best to drive you slowly insane.
Work to schedule some of the types of family activities you enjoy. This could be relaxing on the beach, taking nature walks, or having a picnic lunch at the park. Not every vacation or family activity has to involve noisy crowded theme parks or adrenaline rushes. Taking time to share your passions with your children helps them to connect with you in a new way.
Last, but certainly not least, EMRBACE THE CHAOS (when you can). Just because you are introverted doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your fun chaotic life. Redirection of your kids energy can be a lifesaver on days you feel like an overcooked Turkey. Turn the radio on and have a spontaneous dance party, participate in the impromptu pillow flight or challenge you kids to an epic light saber battle that would make Darth Vadar and Luke Skywalker jealous! YOU DESERVE IT! These are the times that make you realize that even as an introvert you love having a large family!
Kari, I love your writing! These articles are beautifully written & always make me smile…i.e. when you feel like an overcooked turkey! 🙂